If you wanna keep up with my group on our shared blog, please do! cgenamibia.blogspot.com
[2/7/10]
Sundays are quiet. It’s like pulling the plug on a high-voltage lamp. The men all have soccer to attend to, but the women do laundry and clean and take naps before making dinner. Women still work, oh yes. But Sunday is quiet.
I’m learning so much about homestays on this homestay. I may not think I’m learning much by sitting in front of the TV eating dinner, but in fact I am having a much different experience than I would at home, at CGE or at Oberlin. So, essentially, I’m doing exactly what I set out to do. It just doesn’t feel that way.
Yesterday there was a baby shower and I felt out of place until Kristin (our intern) suggested I ask how to say “what is that?” Then the conversation really picked up. I thought, from last semester, that I’d be cool when everyone was speaking another language and yet I felt isolated and sad. They LOVE to share their language though and will tell me that, by the end of this week, I’ll know Afrikaans.
I don’t know how I feel about that.
It feels like I’m learning the language of the oppressor from people who have been oppressed and yet, they seem perfectly happy. They don’t feel segregated or hopeless or any of the things I’ve read that tell me what “coloreds” or Barstars feel. I’m wondering why they don’t have more to say on the subject, I’m wondering why they’re so proud of this language and I’m feeling very conflicted.
Yet...
When you think about it, English is an oppressive language. It’s one that has been used (now) for YEARS to ‘keep people together’ and yet all it does is push people away. If someone immigrates to the U.S. and doesn’t speak English they will feel ostracized and alone. They won’t be able to work or go to school until they learn basic terms. And yet, as an American College student I can go anywhere I choose, knowing that I can find at least one person in most countries/nations who speak English.
How ‘backwards’ is that?
So I suppose...it’s not...all that different.
That seems to be the theme this weekend. Many facets of Namibian life are very similar to American life, just...in Namibia.
They love soccer – we love football.
They like to watch TV – so do we.
They enjoy good food with a good chat - yup, same as us!
They have conceptions of how life is in the US – and we TOTALLY have conceptions (and many misconceptions) of how life is in Namibia and in Africa ‘at large.’
Speaking of which...our DEVELOPMENT class was very enlightening this week. I learned I know a lot more about development than I thought I did and I have a lot more opinions on it than I ever imagined. Namely, Development should be about empowerment. What I mean by that is, if one group comes into another group’s space to ‘develop,’ they should focus on empowering the people who live there: teach a man to fish...kind of deal. (P.S. Recently in that class I’ve found that I’m becoming a Radical. Like an Assata Shakur, Audre Lorde, Black Panther-type. It’s kinda freakin’ me out...but also really interesting)
I hope I can do that in my internship.
****
So, we arrived last Wednesday. On Saturday, we had guests from UNAM (University of Namibia) come and talk with us. We also met a local music artist named Pablo. He took us to a concert for Haiti that was AWESOME! Sam and I (Sam Ryan, yet another Sam in my life who loves to dance as much as I do!) got up and danced and of course, some guys were all up on our tail and this guy was all ‘let me take your picture’- apparently he was from the Youth League and it turns out we were on African television a couple nights later!!!
So basically we’re stars. No big.
Ok, so when we came back to hang out Pablo told me how well I danced – how I was a Dancer and I felt the music and I don’t dance like most girls like me...and I was shocked because people have been telling me that here a lot and I just immediately think of the Moment I found out about getting into DANCE 1 when the majority of my class were in at least dance 2, if not dance 3 and I was SO heartbroken and so ready to never EVER dance again and for a good year or so I refused to dance outside of Dance Class, even though I Loved to dance (and I always have)...I mean, it’s always been that way. I don’t like dance classes because I almost always feel that I can’t get the steps right or I’m sweating more than everyone else or whatever. I’ve had a couple of teachers who haven’t made me feel that way – Kaye, Wendy, Ms. Mehan, Aziza, and most recently, Tweety at Manhattan Plaza.
But...without their even knowing it...by hearing about my dancing and my body movement from people who are from where dancing was created, everything I’ve tried to explain to people in the past about my body image and relating to ideals that were not stereotypically my own and all the bullshit i get for liking men and women outside of my race and all the questions of WHY AFRICA? WHY YOU? WHY NOW?
It all just silenced. It was all quenched. It all made sense. Without even knowing me 24 hours, somehow people here ‘get’ that my body is connected to some force I can’t describe and that I’m in continual turmoil for have the urges I do as a white girl.
And yet, without discrimination, without hate or jealousy or passive aggression, they just dance with me. They just accept that this is who I am. I was born with the soul of someone different that who I look like on the outside. I’m not special. I’m just not the stereotype. I’m not anything that people would expect. I never have been and I never will be.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
VIRGO
"Your passions are slow to heat up but take forever to cool down" -Card about Virgos at the Voortrekker Monument Gift Store
1/28 and 1/29
So Many shacks, so much space: why do people think we can "own" land? It's SO vast and has SO many rules of its own (Hurricanes, earthquakes, volcanoes, etc) Why can't we just live? Why do we divide things? "You think you own whatever land you land on..." I mean, I know it's corny, but it's SO true; especially here!
1/28/10
So we arrived in Windhoek yesterday and they promptly made us aware of all the billions of safety concerns we can have while we're here.
Saying Goodbye was hard. Right at the end of Jo'Burg I had a discussion with one of our drivers that made me fall in Love with the city even more than I already had. He explained that, in his experience, the husband builds the house but it's the wife/mom who really makes it a Home. Without his wife, he said, he doesn't feel the same. He can make himself food or watch some T.V., but it's not the same without her there. It was in this conversation I had mentiuoned I knew how much the homestay meant to the families and if the mom had been present during our stay, it might have been different.
Ugh.
I can't describe in words what the conversation was like, it just - it was like a bonding experience. We both just 'got'each other.
These words aren't right...it's really hard to explain how I felt in Jo'Burg. It was like Home. It was like I was meant to be there.
I just don't feel the same here in Namibia. I've only been here a day, but something feels so much different. Maybe I'm homesick, mabe I'm tired, maybe I'm dehydrated...it could be anything but I just don't feel as "at home" as I did in Jo'Burg, especially towards the people taking SO very good care of us.
(P.S. after about 2 weeks of being here now, I'm feeling much better. We're SO busy! I've met some AMAZING people here too, so don't you worry! Besides, I'll get to see a few people from Jo'Burg in Capetown, so YAY!)
1/28 and 1/29
So Many shacks, so much space: why do people think we can "own" land? It's SO vast and has SO many rules of its own (Hurricanes, earthquakes, volcanoes, etc) Why can't we just live? Why do we divide things? "You think you own whatever land you land on..." I mean, I know it's corny, but it's SO true; especially here!
1/28/10
So we arrived in Windhoek yesterday and they promptly made us aware of all the billions of safety concerns we can have while we're here.
Saying Goodbye was hard. Right at the end of Jo'Burg I had a discussion with one of our drivers that made me fall in Love with the city even more than I already had. He explained that, in his experience, the husband builds the house but it's the wife/mom who really makes it a Home. Without his wife, he said, he doesn't feel the same. He can make himself food or watch some T.V., but it's not the same without her there. It was in this conversation I had mentiuoned I knew how much the homestay meant to the families and if the mom had been present during our stay, it might have been different.
Ugh.
I can't describe in words what the conversation was like, it just - it was like a bonding experience. We both just 'got'each other.
These words aren't right...it's really hard to explain how I felt in Jo'Burg. It was like Home. It was like I was meant to be there.
I just don't feel the same here in Namibia. I've only been here a day, but something feels so much different. Maybe I'm homesick, mabe I'm tired, maybe I'm dehydrated...it could be anything but I just don't feel as "at home" as I did in Jo'Burg, especially towards the people taking SO very good care of us.
(P.S. after about 2 weeks of being here now, I'm feeling much better. We're SO busy! I've met some AMAZING people here too, so don't you worry! Besides, I'll get to see a few people from Jo'Burg in Capetown, so YAY!)
Sawubona!
So, I forgot to mention CGE has it's own blog: http://cgenamibia.blogspot.com/
yay!
****
ZULU
SAWUBONA - Hello
YEBO - Response to "Hello"
UNJANI - How are you?
NGIYAPHILA - I'm fine
NGIYABONGA - thnak you
UBUYAPHI? - Where are you from?
NGIBUYA America - I'm from America
NAMI - Myself
It's weird to reread what I wrote about my homestay at this point because I'm actually in my seoncd homestay and the watch-TV-alot sort of lifestyle has become kind of comforting. What I've realized recently is that, no matter what, I AM in Africa and I AM experiencing something COMPLETELY new, even if it includes watching more TV than I do at home.
However, I think you should know about my Soweto (slash I was actually outside of Soweto) homestay, so here it goes:
The first night we ate and watched T.V. This morning (saturday morning), we went to a school to do a job that we couldn't quite understand from our host dad. We knew it included books and students. We took a car and a taxi to get there.
When we got there, it felt like chaos. One woman asked us to help but we had NO idea what was going on or what books anyone needed for any class. Beyond that, we don't really speak the language (ok, let's face it, we DON'T speak the language).
Oh, P.S. our first homestay was with two students instead of just one. That's why I keep saying "we."
Ok, so we picked it up pretty damn fast. I was really proud of us! It was a really rewarding experience that gave me a little bit of insight into the education system in Soweto, which is exactly what I wanna learn about.
When we got back, we had lunch and took a walk to the stadium. I asked a lot of questions cause that's what I'm good at! We hung out with our friends next door and we all went to Mandela's House, but it was a little too late for that afternoon.
Ups and downs. Ups and downs.
Tomorrow we're scheduled to go to Church and Mandela's House with the family next door.
Nam Myoho Renge Kyo. Tomorrow will be Great.
1/24?/10
WHAT a difference a DAY makes! And what a differnece it ALWAYS makes.
I know Kristin's words would ring true, "No matter who you're with, the homestay is a great experience.
Positive thinking
Positive thinking
Positive thinking
POSITIVE THINKING!
So, today began with church, moved to Mandela's house, moved to two lunches, moved to meeting some friends down the street and ended with a barbeque (Braai) that I hope I'll never forget. We went over and played a little soccer, danced a little, ate a little, played their version of SPUD and then "knocked off" (ended) the game. We sat around talking and laughing and one woman saw me yawning and I rested my head on her shoulder to which she took my hand. It was a simple gesture, but it was the best metaphor for how I feel here: right at home. I feel like I Belong here. Like I've been here forever and the people here are so giving and loving and FUNNY (at least the people I've met)!
I don't want to idealize it but I know I'm not because up until today (of the weekend, at least) I felt so bothered by stuff. '
I think I'm getting better at teh positive thinking and I really think that's helping make this the experience I wanted it to be. I'm very happy tonire and I want to affirm that this will continue for a Long Time.
Nam Myoho Renge Kyo
(P.S. They gave US presents! Whoa!)
yay!
****
ZULU
SAWUBONA - Hello
YEBO - Response to "Hello"
UNJANI - How are you?
NGIYAPHILA - I'm fine
NGIYABONGA - thnak you
UBUYAPHI? - Where are you from?
NGIBUYA America - I'm from America
NAMI - Myself
It's weird to reread what I wrote about my homestay at this point because I'm actually in my seoncd homestay and the watch-TV-alot sort of lifestyle has become kind of comforting. What I've realized recently is that, no matter what, I AM in Africa and I AM experiencing something COMPLETELY new, even if it includes watching more TV than I do at home.
However, I think you should know about my Soweto (slash I was actually outside of Soweto) homestay, so here it goes:
The first night we ate and watched T.V. This morning (saturday morning), we went to a school to do a job that we couldn't quite understand from our host dad. We knew it included books and students. We took a car and a taxi to get there.
When we got there, it felt like chaos. One woman asked us to help but we had NO idea what was going on or what books anyone needed for any class. Beyond that, we don't really speak the language (ok, let's face it, we DON'T speak the language).
Oh, P.S. our first homestay was with two students instead of just one. That's why I keep saying "we."
Ok, so we picked it up pretty damn fast. I was really proud of us! It was a really rewarding experience that gave me a little bit of insight into the education system in Soweto, which is exactly what I wanna learn about.
When we got back, we had lunch and took a walk to the stadium. I asked a lot of questions cause that's what I'm good at! We hung out with our friends next door and we all went to Mandela's House, but it was a little too late for that afternoon.
Ups and downs. Ups and downs.
Tomorrow we're scheduled to go to Church and Mandela's House with the family next door.
Nam Myoho Renge Kyo. Tomorrow will be Great.
1/24?/10
WHAT a difference a DAY makes! And what a differnece it ALWAYS makes.
I know Kristin's words would ring true, "No matter who you're with, the homestay is a great experience.
Positive thinking
Positive thinking
Positive thinking
POSITIVE THINKING!
So, today began with church, moved to Mandela's house, moved to two lunches, moved to meeting some friends down the street and ended with a barbeque (Braai) that I hope I'll never forget. We went over and played a little soccer, danced a little, ate a little, played their version of SPUD and then "knocked off" (ended) the game. We sat around talking and laughing and one woman saw me yawning and I rested my head on her shoulder to which she took my hand. It was a simple gesture, but it was the best metaphor for how I feel here: right at home. I feel like I Belong here. Like I've been here forever and the people here are so giving and loving and FUNNY (at least the people I've met)!
I don't want to idealize it but I know I'm not because up until today (of the weekend, at least) I felt so bothered by stuff. '
I think I'm getting better at teh positive thinking and I really think that's helping make this the experience I wanted it to be. I'm very happy tonire and I want to affirm that this will continue for a Long Time.
Nam Myoho Renge Kyo
(P.S. They gave US presents! Whoa!)
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
"Nothing About Us Without Us!"
This was the chant that minority groups (women, LGBTQ+ and disabled people) used to remind the Mandela Administration to be inclusive.
It makes me think that's the attitude I should take when battling issues of too much analyzation and trepidation.
1/17/10
Leading up to leaving, I would cry inexplicably and everything put me on-edge. I didn't want to pack and I certainly didn't want to leave.
FLASH FORWARD! (which is exactly what it felt like) I arrive at the airport in Washinton D.C., having spoke to everyone I needed to on the phone and having run into a Nigerian man who wished me luck - and I begin to meet the people on my trip. Only after, of course, I have a conversation with a South African man who asked me, "Have you considered our lord, Jesus Christ?"
Yum.
The people on our program are awesome. We got organized long before we arrived in Johannesburg and I think it's gonna be a semester to rememberon't want to get over-hyped because I know that that can have a 'crashing down' affect but in this moment I feel positive, happy and healthy. I'm nam-myoho-renge-kyo-ing that to the last.
1/21/10
*sigh* So I'm here. I'm having a great time. I'm loving everyone and yet I've still got this complex over what others think about me. It's not as bad as it used to be, but still.
*breath*
BUT The Apartheid Museum was great, there was a special exhibit on Mandela, I called my parents , I SANG and my voice is BACK!
I really feel like last semester was SUCH and AMAZING pre-req. to this semester. It has SO helped me to keep breatrhing here. I'm feeling so good here, kinda at the expense of last semester's emotional stability, but now I know that had I not done that, this semester would have been SO incredibly, deeply, passionately different.
"Dialogue should create and enhance value both globally and interpersonally." -HRH
It makes me think that's the attitude I should take when battling issues of too much analyzation and trepidation.
1/17/10
Leading up to leaving, I would cry inexplicably and everything put me on-edge. I didn't want to pack and I certainly didn't want to leave.
FLASH FORWARD! (which is exactly what it felt like) I arrive at the airport in Washinton D.C., having spoke to everyone I needed to on the phone and having run into a Nigerian man who wished me luck - and I begin to meet the people on my trip. Only after, of course, I have a conversation with a South African man who asked me, "Have you considered our lord, Jesus Christ?"
Yum.
The people on our program are awesome. We got organized long before we arrived in Johannesburg and I think it's gonna be a semester to rememberon't want to get over-hyped because I know that that can have a 'crashing down' affect but in this moment I feel positive, happy and healthy. I'm nam-myoho-renge-kyo-ing that to the last.
1/21/10
*sigh* So I'm here. I'm having a great time. I'm loving everyone and yet I've still got this complex over what others think about me. It's not as bad as it used to be, but still.
*breath*
BUT The Apartheid Museum was great, there was a special exhibit on Mandela, I called my parents , I SANG and my voice is BACK!
I really feel like last semester was SUCH and AMAZING pre-req. to this semester. It has SO helped me to keep breatrhing here. I'm feeling so good here, kinda at the expense of last semester's emotional stability, but now I know that had I not done that, this semester would have been SO incredibly, deeply, passionately different.
"Dialogue should create and enhance value both globally and interpersonally." -HRH
GET. INSPIRED.
"I will support my friend even if he has been deserted by the entire world" -Nelson Mandela
1/18/10 Hector Pieterson Museum
"How can people be so heartless? How can people be so cruel?"
I just don't understand how one group of people can hate another group of people so much as to do this kind of thing - harm and kill this many students?!?!
AND THEN PUT THEM TO TRIAL?!?!
I just don't understand. I don't get it. The trail of grass leading to the place where Hector was killed was probably the most powerful thing there. I wish I got a picture. *sigh*
Also, the windows were like the Holocaust Museum in NYC, but they were all over instead of just at the top. You were always aware of exactly where you are.
"The first thing is to be honest with yourself. You can never have an impact on society if you have not changed yourself." -Nelson Mandela
1/19/10
We went to a HS today and toured. I learned the following:
-I wanna teach in Africa
-I am good at 'teaching'
-I can sing the National Anthem
- I got this idea while I was walking around form calss to class...I could get together some of my artistic friends and do an MCC-type program but in the schools. Then I thought I should definitely get in touch with Stephen DiMenna because that's exactly what he does!
I'm really, really passionate about young people. This keeps becoming more clear as I go thru my year abroad. It's been very long and while I'm travel weary, I'm Loving this! Whatever happens, I wan tot remember the absolute Love I felt being exactly where I wanted to be at exactly the right time in my life. We didn't spend enough time there and I hope in the future I can spend more time with African young people - they are my passion and that's what I wanna do in life. Bring the arts to youth. Inspire youth through the arts.
Ïf you are in harmony with yourself, you may meet a lion without fear because he respects anyone with self-confidence." -Nelson Mandela
1/20/10
I want to remember this moment forever. Sitting in "the van," windows wide open, hair blowing in the rain-saturated breeze. I feel beautiful, sustained and happy. Like I belong. I'm doing this. I'm actually doing this! My dream. Africa. Fulfilled. I want to remember this forever.
Seeing the show tonight made me miss the cast of In The Blood SO much! Call-and-response just isn't the same without them.
"As a leader I have always endeavoured to listen to what each and every person had to say in a discussion before venturing my own opinion." -Nelson Mandela
1/18/10 Hector Pieterson Museum
"How can people be so heartless? How can people be so cruel?"
I just don't understand how one group of people can hate another group of people so much as to do this kind of thing - harm and kill this many students?!?!
AND THEN PUT THEM TO TRIAL?!?!
I just don't understand. I don't get it. The trail of grass leading to the place where Hector was killed was probably the most powerful thing there. I wish I got a picture. *sigh*
Also, the windows were like the Holocaust Museum in NYC, but they were all over instead of just at the top. You were always aware of exactly where you are.
"The first thing is to be honest with yourself. You can never have an impact on society if you have not changed yourself." -Nelson Mandela
1/19/10
We went to a HS today and toured. I learned the following:
-I wanna teach in Africa
-I am good at 'teaching'
-I can sing the National Anthem
- I got this idea while I was walking around form calss to class...I could get together some of my artistic friends and do an MCC-type program but in the schools. Then I thought I should definitely get in touch with Stephen DiMenna because that's exactly what he does!
I'm really, really passionate about young people. This keeps becoming more clear as I go thru my year abroad. It's been very long and while I'm travel weary, I'm Loving this! Whatever happens, I wan tot remember the absolute Love I felt being exactly where I wanted to be at exactly the right time in my life. We didn't spend enough time there and I hope in the future I can spend more time with African young people - they are my passion and that's what I wanna do in life. Bring the arts to youth. Inspire youth through the arts.
Ïf you are in harmony with yourself, you may meet a lion without fear because he respects anyone with self-confidence." -Nelson Mandela
1/20/10
I want to remember this moment forever. Sitting in "the van," windows wide open, hair blowing in the rain-saturated breeze. I feel beautiful, sustained and happy. Like I belong. I'm doing this. I'm actually doing this! My dream. Africa. Fulfilled. I want to remember this forever.
Seeing the show tonight made me miss the cast of In The Blood SO much! Call-and-response just isn't the same without them.
"As a leader I have always endeavoured to listen to what each and every person had to say in a discussion before venturing my own opinion." -Nelson Mandela
Monday, February 1, 2010
A Crab Golfin'
"All right. The panic receeds. All right. Everyone bleeds...and nobody needs to know." - The Last Five Years
"And he're I stand. Yes indeed. And there is no way I would rather be...Oh it may be weary but it's less of climb if I just take life one step at a time and maybe later I can dance with band but here I stand. Yes here I stand. And if you need a helping hand; here I stand! Here I stand!" - Anita Hollander
Did you know that the letters within "African Blog" can create the anagram, "A Crab Golfin?" I like it.
So, we got here a bout two weeks ago and I've got MAD much to catch you up on. I've been keeping a journal, so here we go:
1/17/10
"Dialogue should (seek to) create and enhance Value both Globally and Interpersonally" -Holland Hamilton
This is my travel journal. I'm going to try to take it around with me so I can write down things to remember. Tomorrow we go to Soweto. I think now is a good time to answer these questions from CGE's manual.
WHY AM I TAKING THIS JOURNEY?
God, people kept asking me this over and over and over and over until I didn't know what to say anymore. I feel a connection to africa. I believe marginalized people should help fellow marginalized individuals. I believe human beings should care for every other human as they would a family member and my feeling os wanting to help has pushed me to this area of the world. I want to find a way to make peace: one person at a time.
NOTE FROM THE PRESENT (Feb 1st, 2010): We learned from our stay in Johannesburg the term UBUNTU means "I am a human being because of other human beings." It's almost exactly what I had written this first day.
WHAT AM I ANTICIPATING MOST ABOUT THIS PROGRAM?
Learning from the source, learnign more about myself, loving myself more so I can share the Love with others, finding ways to communicate better, finding way to bring peace.
1/18/10
Can't sleep. Gonna write some more. Happy MLK day!
WHAT ARE MY FEARS ABOUT THE UPCOMING SEMESTER?
Well, as always, I'm afraid I won't make any friends. I fear mugging and street crime will keep me from feeling safe and confident. I fear I may become ull. I don't want to give too much power to these things though, because then I fear they may happen!
WHAT ARE MY KEY QUESTIONS?
How can I help? What's the best way to help? How can I use whast I learn here in my theater world?
How can I become a more confident me while I'm here?
What are some of the main conflicts going on right now in SA? What solutions are being formed/put into place?
WHEN DID I HAVE AN EXPERIENCE IN THE PAST WHEN I TOOK A SIMILAR JOURNEY?
Well, Prague was similar, but only because it was my first study away program. I think this semester is a little different because SA, particularly Soweto,mean a lot to me. I suppose Israel was most similar. I went to have a spiritual awakening and I came back with a broader view on the conflict there.
WHAT WAS THE EFFECT OF THAT EXPERIENCE ON MY LIFE?
Prague completely changed me. I feel like I became more independent, more confident, more forgiving of others and especially more forgiving of myself.
WHAT DOES THAT EXPERIENCE TELL ME ABOUT PREPARING FOR AND EXPERIENCING THE UPCOMING SEMESTER?
Open mind, open hear, city streets...my dad said as I left. I want to keep myself open, both emotionally and mentally, to what occurs and what I hear/see/taste/smell/feel. I also want to keep in mind my 'city background and know what something feels too sketchy, too uncomfy and ultimately, too unsafe.
1/21/10
WHAT CHARACTERISTICS ABOUT ME WILL HELP ME MAKE THE MOST OF THIS NEW EXPERIENCE?
I'm honest, patient, outgoing (mostly), happy (positive), helpful, and joyful. My most important characteristic is Joy. I spread Joy. Chava Br'cha.
WHAT ARE MY HOPES FOR THE WORLD?
Kind of a kitchy question, but I have a kitchy answer. I really do want peace. I want everyone to share in a common desire to Love one another unconditionally because we only have so much time here. Why waste it hating people?
WHO ARE SOME OF THE PEOPLE IO WISH COULD ACCOMPANY MYE ON THIS PROGRAM? HAVE I TOLD THEM? WHAT ARE SOME OF THE WAYS THEY CAN ACCOMPANY ME?
Laura, Kia, Heather, Kyla, mom, dad, Sam, Mina, Julia, Hope, Dan, Shey, KYLE. And yes, I've told them I wanna pack them all in my suitcase. But I really think this journey is for me and knowing they're out there supporting me every step of the way makes me feel like they're here with me. Updating them also helps: writing what reminded me of them helps!
HOW CAN SOME OF THE STUDENTS WITH WHOM I WILL BE TRAVELING BE HELPFUL TO ME THIS SEMESTER?
I have a lot to learn when it comes to friendships and jealousy. I would say "bring it on,"but I don't want to break down. I think the way they can help me is by pushing a little and then letting me breath, pushing a little then let me breath.
This doesn't seem realistic, but I hope that I can find opportunities in others and work thru the things that bother me while asking others for the help that I need *sigh*
"And he're I stand. Yes indeed. And there is no way I would rather be...Oh it may be weary but it's less of climb if I just take life one step at a time and maybe later I can dance with band but here I stand. Yes here I stand. And if you need a helping hand; here I stand! Here I stand!" - Anita Hollander
Did you know that the letters within "African Blog" can create the anagram, "A Crab Golfin?" I like it.
So, we got here a bout two weeks ago and I've got MAD much to catch you up on. I've been keeping a journal, so here we go:
1/17/10
"Dialogue should (seek to) create and enhance Value both Globally and Interpersonally" -Holland Hamilton
This is my travel journal. I'm going to try to take it around with me so I can write down things to remember. Tomorrow we go to Soweto. I think now is a good time to answer these questions from CGE's manual.
WHY AM I TAKING THIS JOURNEY?
God, people kept asking me this over and over and over and over until I didn't know what to say anymore. I feel a connection to africa. I believe marginalized people should help fellow marginalized individuals. I believe human beings should care for every other human as they would a family member and my feeling os wanting to help has pushed me to this area of the world. I want to find a way to make peace: one person at a time.
NOTE FROM THE PRESENT (Feb 1st, 2010): We learned from our stay in Johannesburg the term UBUNTU means "I am a human being because of other human beings." It's almost exactly what I had written this first day.
WHAT AM I ANTICIPATING MOST ABOUT THIS PROGRAM?
Learning from the source, learnign more about myself, loving myself more so I can share the Love with others, finding ways to communicate better, finding way to bring peace.
1/18/10
Can't sleep. Gonna write some more. Happy MLK day!
WHAT ARE MY FEARS ABOUT THE UPCOMING SEMESTER?
Well, as always, I'm afraid I won't make any friends. I fear mugging and street crime will keep me from feeling safe and confident. I fear I may become ull. I don't want to give too much power to these things though, because then I fear they may happen!
WHAT ARE MY KEY QUESTIONS?
How can I help? What's the best way to help? How can I use whast I learn here in my theater world?
How can I become a more confident me while I'm here?
What are some of the main conflicts going on right now in SA? What solutions are being formed/put into place?
WHEN DID I HAVE AN EXPERIENCE IN THE PAST WHEN I TOOK A SIMILAR JOURNEY?
Well, Prague was similar, but only because it was my first study away program. I think this semester is a little different because SA, particularly Soweto,mean a lot to me. I suppose Israel was most similar. I went to have a spiritual awakening and I came back with a broader view on the conflict there.
WHAT WAS THE EFFECT OF THAT EXPERIENCE ON MY LIFE?
Prague completely changed me. I feel like I became more independent, more confident, more forgiving of others and especially more forgiving of myself.
WHAT DOES THAT EXPERIENCE TELL ME ABOUT PREPARING FOR AND EXPERIENCING THE UPCOMING SEMESTER?
Open mind, open hear, city streets...my dad said as I left. I want to keep myself open, both emotionally and mentally, to what occurs and what I hear/see/taste/smell/feel. I also want to keep in mind my 'city background and know what something feels too sketchy, too uncomfy and ultimately, too unsafe.
1/21/10
WHAT CHARACTERISTICS ABOUT ME WILL HELP ME MAKE THE MOST OF THIS NEW EXPERIENCE?
I'm honest, patient, outgoing (mostly), happy (positive), helpful, and joyful. My most important characteristic is Joy. I spread Joy. Chava Br'cha.
WHAT ARE MY HOPES FOR THE WORLD?
Kind of a kitchy question, but I have a kitchy answer. I really do want peace. I want everyone to share in a common desire to Love one another unconditionally because we only have so much time here. Why waste it hating people?
WHO ARE SOME OF THE PEOPLE IO WISH COULD ACCOMPANY MYE ON THIS PROGRAM? HAVE I TOLD THEM? WHAT ARE SOME OF THE WAYS THEY CAN ACCOMPANY ME?
Laura, Kia, Heather, Kyla, mom, dad, Sam, Mina, Julia, Hope, Dan, Shey, KYLE. And yes, I've told them I wanna pack them all in my suitcase. But I really think this journey is for me and knowing they're out there supporting me every step of the way makes me feel like they're here with me. Updating them also helps: writing what reminded me of them helps!
HOW CAN SOME OF THE STUDENTS WITH WHOM I WILL BE TRAVELING BE HELPFUL TO ME THIS SEMESTER?
I have a lot to learn when it comes to friendships and jealousy. I would say "bring it on,"but I don't want to break down. I think the way they can help me is by pushing a little and then letting me breath, pushing a little then let me breath.
This doesn't seem realistic, but I hope that I can find opportunities in others and work thru the things that bother me while asking others for the help that I need *sigh*
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